Insomnia Is NOT Awesome

Hey, Everybody-
Here I sit...not sleeping. So, I worked a 14 hour day and I should be ready to sleep, right? Apparently NOT, because I am wide a-freakin' wake. I bet you're all sleeping right now (especially my friends and family on the East Coast)...can I get some of that? Please...really, I'll even take shared sleep (if there is such a thing) because it has GOT to be better than this.
So, let me take you on an insomniac's journey through Hell and illustrate for you the evolution of my insomnia.
Usually, I fall asleep relatively quickly. Then I wake up at 3:00 or 4:00 am and stare at the ceiling. Tonight, however, my insomnia has evolved into NOT FALLING ASLEEP AT ALL. I guess I should have been grateful for those four or five hours that I had been getting.
Well, I guess I'm at least being productive during the wee hours. I am actually making a Christmas gift for my Mama. Yes...you can stop laughing now...I said "making". I guess insomnia makes you all domestic and stuff. It also makes you think about stuff like: What color light is on the bottom of a stoplight - red or green? How many curves are on the average paperclip? Who is that stupid seventh dwarf that nobody can remember? Who thinks of this crap? Me, that's who. To quote the great George Costanza, "Don't you ever get down on your hands and knees and thank God that you know me and have access to my dementia?" You know you do...come on, admit it...you're doing it right now.
Anyway, I guess I'll round out my night with finishing my Mama's Christmas gift and then lay down for a few hours of Ceiling Staring. Maybe I'll watch some infomercials...I love the one with the Mini Chopper. I can watch that one over and over. My favorite part is when they chop up real concrete. Go Mini Chopper...you tell that concrete who's boss.
That's enough of my insomnia-induced insanity. I hope you're all sleeping well.
Peace from the Midwest, D
P.S. The answers to the above questions, in no particular order, are: "Bashful", "Green", and "Three". You do the math...logic...whatever...