Open Season on Kitties

Apparently, Wisconsin hunters have very itchy trigger fingers. It has been, I guess, a pretty long and boring winter. Also, the deer season only lasts about a week out here, so folks don't really have enough time to satisfy their homicidal urges. So what do you do when there just aren't any opportunities to kill an animal legally? You create open season on CATS. Yes...you read that right...CAT SEASON. The great state of Wisconsin is proposing a new bill that will make cat hunting legal. Apparently, some guy is all bent out of shape because every morning he wakes up and there are - GASP - cat prints in the snow all around the base of his bird feeder (See Yahoo.com homepage).
"I get up in the morning and if there's new snow, there's cat tracks under my bird feeder ... I look at them as an invasive species, plain and simple," Smith said.
Are you freakin' KIDDING ME? Poor Mr. Smith. All he wants to do is feed his birdies and those evil, horrifying cats are messing it all up. Did you ever think, Mr. Smith, that YOU are the "invasive species"? I mean, after all, it is YOU who chooses to get the wild chickadees and finches all hopped up on commercial bird seed and then, one weekend, you and the Misses take off for a vacation in Cancun and forget to refill the bird feeder. What are the poor, defensless birdies supposed to do NOW? You've got them all hooked on seed, it's below freezing, and they have forgotten how to fend for themselves. They're like little feathered crack addicts and you've done it, Mr. Smith. YOU. And you're whining about the cats. Maybe we should make it open season on all song birds, because, dammit, I'm so sick of them tempting my cats. My kitties spend all their free time hovering around your bird feeder. It's all invasive and what not.
Anyway, I guess the DNR is going to work this all out because, of course, most hunters can tell the difference betweeen a wild, feral cat and Mr. Boots, the family pet...especially after a six pack of Old Milwaukee. God forbid we violate the rights of Mr. Smith's birdies and his right to wake up and see an absence of cat prints under his bird feeder.
You can't make this stuff up. I'm serious. Check it out at dontshootthecat.com. Only in Wisconsin, folks. At least in New York, we just stick to killing deer and, you know, other humans.
Peace for the kitties (for now) in the Midwest.
-D